Smash ALL the MUSHROOMS!!!!!!!!
Mushrooms: delightful pieces of squishable fungus to satisfy any aching shoe.
If you want to become an expert mushroom smasher, you have to know the basics. Mushrooms like to come out in wet shady places, and sometimes they come out in the sun, and, of course, they like sprouting in cow crap and horse crap and any other crap that you can think of. WHY? You wanna smash the fat things, but at the expense of mashing your foot into a mega pile of BLEAH! Mushrooms on long stems like to come out of those.
So here is what to do. Aim a long stick at the top of the mushroom, like your're playing golf, and swing! BAM, it shatters into a million pieces and you can scream your triumph.
When you come upon a group of mushrooms, smash them as fast as you can. Juicy ones are kind of gross, so just step on them and DO NOT kick.
When you come upon a perfect mushroom--one a Smurf likes to live in, circle the mushroom, savor its roundness, color and texture. Hold back for as long as you can--and then SMASH! Smash that thing out of existence and kick it all over the place, feeling the crunch beneath your shoe, almost hearing it inside your foot. Scream like you never screamed before and stare at the sky in mad ecstasy.
That's the only way to smash a mushroom. If you have any other ways to smash a mushroom, please comment below.
If you want to become an expert mushroom smasher, you have to know the basics. Mushrooms like to come out in wet shady places, and sometimes they come out in the sun, and, of course, they like sprouting in cow crap and horse crap and any other crap that you can think of. WHY? You wanna smash the fat things, but at the expense of mashing your foot into a mega pile of BLEAH! Mushrooms on long stems like to come out of those.
So here is what to do. Aim a long stick at the top of the mushroom, like your're playing golf, and swing! BAM, it shatters into a million pieces and you can scream your triumph.
When you come upon a group of mushrooms, smash them as fast as you can. Juicy ones are kind of gross, so just step on them and DO NOT kick.
When you come upon a perfect mushroom--one a Smurf likes to live in, circle the mushroom, savor its roundness, color and texture. Hold back for as long as you can--and then SMASH! Smash that thing out of existence and kick it all over the place, feeling the crunch beneath your shoe, almost hearing it inside your foot. Scream like you never screamed before and stare at the sky in mad ecstasy.
That's the only way to smash a mushroom. If you have any other ways to smash a mushroom, please comment below.
Comments
Post a Comment