Review of a stupid Chromebook

You all know the sad tale of the death of my computer. I finally was able to get one last week. I went to Walmart to buy the computer and of course everything was gone except the ones that craved for your life's blood.

I went online and ordered a really nice looking computer for a cheap price. Considering that all the computers were vanishing like mad, and they were the more expensive ones, I thought myself lucky. Ha-ha! What a joke. I ordered the computer and in two days it reached my house. I opened it up and do you know how you just get a bad feeling immediately? I got that feeling.

The computer was silver, very thin and very light. It was a Chromebook. Being that I've never owned one before, I thought I'd just give the thing a chance. First red flag went up when I found I could never replace the battery myself. It had to go to a special technician to pry open the whole computer so they could replace it for me.

Second red flag, I couldn't just explore the computer once I opened it. I had to sign in to my e-mail, which I didn't like at all. Next, there were no instructions to maneuver this Chromebook. Everything was online, and I didn't even know if some sites were legitimate or not.

What I did find out was that Chromebook didn't take Word. One site said I could get Word for free by downloading it as an App in my Play Store, or whatever that thing is called. Google Play Store? How is it supposed to be free in the STORE? I went and downloaded it as the instructions said. The instructions also said, "You might want to sign in to your Microsoft Account for your 365." What the hey was that supposed to mean? MIGHT WANT TO? What might? What if I might not?

After forever, Word downloaded and I was happy. I put in my USB and found out I couldn't open documents. There is a way to open them, because after an hour of messing around on the thing, I opened book 3. It's not worth it, so I won't put any "How to's" because as soon as my MS opened up, the thing said, "Reading View."

"If you want to edit and save your document, you must sign in to your Microsoft Account."

Thanks, you stupid website, for saying YOU MIGHT WANT TO as the last step in getting Word on Chromebook.

So I signed in and I thought I was ready to go.

But then a notice showed up and said, "If you want to edit and save your document, you must get a subscription for Microsoft 365."

I don't want some STUPID subscription. What am I supposed to do with PowerPoint and Excel? I don't use Outlook Express and I never want to. I don't need them to write. I definitely don't want to pay 79 bucks a year for things I don't use.

Chromebook wanted my cell phone so it could send me commercials. It wanted me to sign in for everything I did so it could "Help me." It wanted my bank account information. It wanted everything that would get my identity properly stolen all in one place, while all the while saying the computer wasn't secure and I needed to get anti virus. I also read somewhere that Chromebook didn't get viruses, but that was from the same site that said I could get Word free. You can't.

The Chromebook was like a giant version of a cheap phone. All it was good for was watching movies and playing games and buying things, all of which you can do on a normal computer, only the normal computer can do more things than that. You know, like writing a book and being able to download certain fonts and software for making a kindle e-book.

Since I bought Chromebook at Walmart.com as a guest, I didn't have an account and I had to contact an agent on how to return the stupid thing. On the website itself, there was all this mess on how to return a computer by signing in to your account. Returning things via mail or returning an online item to a store sounded impossible without an account. How about returning things without your account?

Here's what the agent told me on returning it to a store, because I guess that's the only way you can do it if you didn't buy through your account: write down your order number on a piece of paper (BECAUSE IT'S NOT ON THE BOX) and take it to a store. I was advised to have a photo ID, but it ended up I didn't need it. Make sure you have the box, because surprise, surprise, the bar code is on it. They take the order number, scan the bar code and bam, you have your money back. It doesn't matter how you paid for it.

Keep the box and everything that came with it so you can haul it back. They inspected the Chromebook for damages, so it was a good thing I didn't smash it on the floor like I wanted to. Also, perform the POWERWASH on the Chromebook, which returns it to its original factory settings, and that erases all your sign-ins and all that bull crap they wanted from you. The Powerwash is in the files folder thing and you can just type in "factory settings" or "powerwash" to find it.

After all that mess, I went to Best Buy and got a normal computer and bought Microsoft Office. It still had PowerPoint and Excel with it, but it wasn't a subscription to Microsoft 365, which promises that you can WORK ACROSS YOUR DEVICES! Oh yeah, I'll be typing my book on my phone. Bleah. I don't think so.

After all that, I'm still getting e-mails about how wonderful my new Chromebook is. Ha, the joke's on them. I don't have it anymore. Also, when I plugged my USB in to my brother's computer, some thing popped up saying, "This USB drive has no App connected to it!"

Oh no!

Ha-ha! Oh yes!

Piece of trash. Why should a storage device be connected with an App? Ugh...

The vestiges of the Chromebook was still lingering like the ghosts of a murder house.