The Sparrow's Nest

They said post your picture on social media, that way, people will know you're friendly and know that you're a real person. How lovely. Say you're not paranoid, so you say to yourself, "I think I will! It's gonna be awesome!" And then the next day a weirdo contacts you. "I was randomly snooping around, saw your face, and thought you were so beautiful! Let's be friends! I'm a soldier fighting for our country, and I'm really buff." He saying this while he's looking at your picture like this: And he looks like this: "Hi, do you wanna breed?" "Say What?!" "I have no time to read your stories, Dear, because I'm so busy. But can you make time for me?" "No, man, you're ugly!" And then block the sicko and all his STD's.

For once, I decided to check my facebook, and found a message inside saying that "64 Dresses" had gone live. I "ran" over, opened up the online magazine, and there was my baby looking at me--with an illustration no less! What was behind this story? Take away the infuriating experiences with severe racism and pretend friends, there is only left a bedtime story I made up to get my little sister to go to sleep. There have been many stink people in my life. It only made sense that they should melt. The girl's stench was based off of a kid I knew when I was five. Oh gosh, I knew exactly where he was when he'd come to play with my brother. Wouldn't you know it, the little stink bomb would be sitting on my precious bed--right where my head went at night. And yes, he did smell orange. I can't describe it any other way. My nose still quivers when I think about him.

I always wondered what would happen if somebody actually succeeded in calling in Bigfoot, and if they didn't howl and beat sticks together in the middle of the night to do it. What if all they had to do was contact him in a simpler way? Then I thought, what kind of a nut would do that? And why would this person be driven to it? Maybe she's not only a bleeding heart activist for the Bigfoot, but she's also in an unhappy marriage. But I needed more than just an unhappy marriage. That's when Donald showed up, an old gross man with lots of money. Ah, Margaret is unhappy AND grossed out, but she did it to herself because she's a gold digger. The woman became self-centered AND self-destructive. Yay, perfect! The settings had already been picked months ago, but they had no story to go with them. Now that Margaret was there, she just had to blow herself up.

Everybody has drunk off all the pop, ate all the food, munched off all the snacks and left you a can of beans. I guess it's a good time to go on a diet. So you go on a diet, and suddenly, everyone is so nice. "Here, Honey, have some donuts. Did you eat today? I made a cake just because!" "Oh look, I ordered pizza, because I love you so much!" "Hey, I know you love Coke. I bought some for you when I went out." "Hey, guess what, I made extra for you!" Agh! What's a starving sufferer to do? Scream and run, little sufferer, just scream and run. Publishing announcement! My story "Love Notes" is live on Liquid Imagination  here ! Be sure to share it with your friends! It helps a lot!