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Showing posts from July, 2015

How to be street smart when you're street dumb #6: Personal Effects

Every second of every day, there's a thief in the making. How the little wretches love snatching purses, phones, wallets and all that good stuff. These days, every important thing is on your smart phone. Well it's a dumb phone if you let it get stolen, or if you lose it. How smart is it to have everything in one place? Wouldn't that be like having the same password for everything? Of course it is! And if you didn't know it, now you do. Walking down the street flashing your phone for every thief to see is nothing short of idiotic. Suppose you drop it and it clatters all over? Broken phone. Now why would you carry your wallet and phone out for everyone to see? Do you have a Kung Fu grip or something? Now on to the wallet. Seriously, are you going to flash all your money? Flashing money equals mugging. Mugging equals your butt kicked and that could equal hospital. People get shot for stupid things all the time, like their smelly shoes. Either way you're humiliated,

How to be street smart when you're street dumb #5: Stranger Danger, Aquaintance Danger

Stranger Danger, it gets taught in schools and hopefully by parents, and yet why can an ugly man walk into a pool party, take out a little girl by the hand and the next time anyone sees her she's a mutilated body? Somebody didn't teach the kid how to find her butt with two hands. They live in a bubble, they think everybody is kind. Do they not realize that there are truckloads of unkind people out there?! No. Of course not. Or this would not have happened. That's why it's a bad idea to go hitch hiking. Maybe fifty years ago it was safer, but it wasn't all the way safe. The older generation likes to brag about it, but they're the ones who taught stranger danger. Obviously things happened. Next time you go hitch hiking, just remember that the next car could be a maniac ready to eat your face off. As for picking up hitch hikers, women should not do it when alone. In the world of the crook, there's no such thing as "equal rights for women." There is

How to be street smart when you're street dumb #4: Pets

Almost everybody loves animals. Some even go so far as to think they are people. They give them all the best things in life, they love them even more than their own kids, and it's getting to the point where killing a person is better than killing an animal. All this delusion happens only in the people world. The animals know what they are and where they stand. For example: bears love meat. Dogs are pack animals. Cats are cunning. On that note, suppose you go to the country. You take your little rat dog with you, a rat dog you think protects you with all the might it has in its little, annoying body. How utterly cute! If you're being attacked by another rat anyway. Well, the little rat starts whining to go to the bathroom. So you take it out. It's night, there are trashcans right up against the forest. The little rat dog won't bother anyone there. The country is so nice, nothing ever happens. So you go out to the trashcans with your little rat who starts yipping up

How to be street smart when you're street dumb #3: dark places

There are a million dark, empty places in the world and a million predators to fill them. Now most people know not to walk through dark alleys and across parks at night, alone or otherwise. And yet people are always getting killed in them. Before you think of taking the short cut to the dance, the basketball game, or the McDonald's, you need only think of one word: RAPE!!! Do you really want to be the next naked body found that was strangled with your own pantyhose? I think not. Perhaps you'd like to be found in a box under some nut case's bed? The safest places in the world are the best hunting grounds for predators because everyone is so at ease. Which deer is the easiest to shoot? The one who walks right up to you looking for a snack, or the one that stays hidden and watchful? Stay in big groups if you're bound and determined to walk through a dark, empty area. Be aware of the part of town you are in. There are places in the cities where you just don't go at

How to be street smart when you're street dumb # 2: Parties

Parties, most everyone loves parties, unless of course you're a spider, or not a social butterfly. People are always drunk at these wonderful get-togethers. The most dignified man can walk into a restaurant and become a slobbering idiot before he even comes out. Take Prom Night for example. Everybody's at the punch table, crowding around for drinks--hopefully because they're thirsty from dancing--but there's a rat born every minute. They spike the punch bowl, they lick all the cookies, dig their noses and then touch everything. Pretty soon nobody feels good and they start getting tipsy. Don't go near the punch bowl people! Especially if you don't want to wake up pregnant with all the fathers of your child around you. Or worse even, your body not only violated but covered in graffiti and it's several days later. You too may claim you were kidnapped by aliens so no one knows your shame. Drink from the water fountain and don't put your mouth over it like

How to be street smart when you're street dumb #1

In this day and age there are so many devices that we have that many people are starting to act like the characters in Disney's Wall-E. Our faces are stuck in our phones, computers, and everything else, that we have no idea what's going on around us. I see people walking by me with their heads down, not looking where they are going. Not only can you walk off a curb, get hurt and be seriously embarrassed, you could be getting stalked, scoped out and targeted. One of the most basic rules is to keep your head up, looking around you and making sure you know where you are and who is around you. It doesn't matter where you are either, should you be in the city or the country. A lot of city slickers think the country is a safe, quiet, restful place. There's just different places for a nut to hide, that's all. Take those young idiots who buy giant houses in the remotest parts of Alaska. Did they ever think that maybe they might get jumped by man or beast while riding to t