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Showing posts from March, 2020

Fun things to do while you're stuck in the house

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You've been in the house too long, and if you're about to go mad like Heath Ledger while he was preparing to be the Joker in The Dark Knight, then you need some serious help before you start asking people how you got those scars. In the daily grind, many people had no time for exercise, and they grew too squishy. Well, now's your chance to start looking fine again. https://www.youtube.com/user/TiffanyRotheWorkouts : This lovely lady is the happiest workout lady I ever did see. She gives pep talks in the middle of the workouts and her energy just pops from the screen. What's best is that these workouts are free and there are hundreds of them. She works that nasty back, too, and does standing ab workouts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XBicA9rBpE : all the Windsor Pilates workouts have been downloaded onto YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtn9KJSaoiQ : all the Tai Bo workouts have been downloaded. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vTJHUDB

"Offering" is live! And, the story behind it.

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"Offering" is now live over at The Horror Zine! Come read it  here . "Offering" started out as a flash fiction, because I got recommended to try for being a "Pen of the Damned" writer. They were going to send me a picture for which I'd write a flash piece. Then they'd make their decision. Guess what, I got a picture of a bridge, a happy bridge, too. Not the one above, though. My problem was that I loved bridges. They're the most wonderful things in the world. Now I was supposed to pen something horrible in an area I had zero experience in: flash fiction. I tried my best, and of course they told me to get lost, leaving me with the beginnings of a new story. "Offering" sat in my computer like a sad castaway, rejected, dismissed and written off by the whole world. I began writing, jumping off the original idea and marrying it with another idea I had. The story slowly fleshed out until the disconnected pieces knit togeth

Dates Gone Wrong #2: Country Dancing

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I lived in an apartment with three other girls. My friend and I lived in the two back rooms. The others were friends and lived in the front rooms. One day, my roommate asked us, "Who wants to go country dancing?" My roommate's friend didn't volunteer, and it should have been a red flag, but I wanted to try something new. I'd never been country dancing in my life. Maybe I would like it better? Maybe there wouldn't be guys galloping in circles around the dance floor with their arms tucked into their chests like rabbits. I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. No country western style at all, but my roommate said it was okay. We headed to the parking garage, but my roommate bypassed the door. She said a friend of hers was coming, too. I was like, "Okay." Why not be more social and meet new people? I might like it. We headed to another apartment and she knocked on the door. A guy came out. Now I thought, "I guess I'm a weird tag-a-alo

Dates Gone Wrong #1: Ice Skating

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Wherever you are, especially in quarantine, I hope this makes you grin. I haven't dated much in my life, but when I have gone on dates, they have been funky, or something stupid happened. Most of the time, I didn't know I was on a date. One day, I went ice skating. Of course, I can't ice skate. I can't skate either. It didn't matter how much I practiced, how much I tried, or how many times I fell on my tail bone. It was death. Like an imbecile, I always wanted to try ice skating. One day, I got my chance. Guess what, I went BOOYAH! Slid across the ice on my stomach, sat down, got stranded on the other side of the ice rink, crawled on all fours to the exit, hurt my ankles, the works. Finally, one of the guys in our hang out group date took pity on my sorry hide and tried to teach me. He took my hands and skated backwards, while I used him as a "walker" like the old people do. I think I looked like one, too. It should have been romantic, rig

Can't Sew For Beans: My Weekend Disaster...Project

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I broke my needle, tangled up my thread, sewed a meandering river across the hem and then destroyed it while pulling out the threads. My mom said, "Use your sewing machine." Me: "That WAS my sewing machine!" If I were making a map, I'd sew in straight lines. I used the worst kind of fabric. Of course, of course. Somebody told me fabric was important, but I'd already bought this one. I ended up hand-stitching it because... Kill me now. And there it is. You can't take it anywhere. First Halloween costume I've stitched that actually fit a person.