Rejection Letters: Pains in the Butt

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Feeling bad today about your rejection letters? Did you just a get a bulk of letters telling you no? Rejection letters are such a pain in the butt. Here are excerpts from some of those notorious letters that I got. Some of the wretches came in a bulk.

1) IT'S MY BELIEF THAT DESERTS ARE SIGNIFICANTLY COOLER AT NIGHT. YOU COULDN'T SUSPEND MY BELIEF ENOUGH.

Arizona deserts can stay 100 degrees at midnight. This dame probably doesn't believe you can get into a wreck in the snow.


2) I COULDN'T TELL WHAT GENRE IT WAS.

Seriously? It's full of ghosts and death.

3) YOURS WAS ONE OF THE HIGH-QUALITY SUBMISSIONS WE'VE HAD TO REJECT.

Um...so why didn't you accept it?


4) I WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED THIS LAST YEAR.

Last year??? Screw you, too!

5) I READ THIS, HAVE LOTS OF SUBMISSION FOR ATMOSPHERE BECAUSE I LOOK AT LOTS OF THEM AND THE SUMBMISSIONS. I WISH I TO GAVE FEEDBACK ON ALL OF THEM.

I've been rejected by a man who can't write.

6) YOU DIDN'T PLACE. I LOOK FORWARD TO READING YOUR NEXT SUBMISSION!

What's that supposed to mean?

7) UNFORTUNATELY, YOUR STORY WAS NOT CHOSEN FOR THIS ISSUE. THREE RANDOM PEOPLE LOOK AT THE SUBMISSIONS EVERY TIME.

You mean this magazine is pure chance?


8) UNFORTUNATELY, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO PASS ON THIS ONE. I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE IN RESPONDING. I GET SO MANY SUBMISSIONS THAT I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ALL OF THEM.

Submission was sent two years ago. How is this wretch still in business?

In conclusion...


...keep writing.

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