An Experimentation in Donuts


Saturday. I had finished my 12th draft of my second book. I wanted to celebrate, but I was broke. So what should I do? Bake something I've never done before with what little resources I had! Very smart. I looked online for recipes that had the ingredients laying around in dusty heaps in my cupboard.

Donuts. Yummy, fat, little donuts made with cinnamon and nutmeg. It was beautiful. I didn't need a deep fryer or any kind of yeast. It even had a recipe to make a substitute for buttermilk.


Ah, lovely little donuts come to me! I dragged out all my cookware and bam, can you hear the music?

I passed them around to my family and only my sisters said they were perfect. Wouldn't you know it, they were the only ones who didn't get donuts full of mysterious cream. Now what?

Since everything cooks the rest of the way in the microwave whenever I screw up, I took the donuts and stuffed them in there for three minutes.

And then...


And here you see is rubber cement to choke baby birds with.

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