Child Care #2: Why babies stick things in their mouths.

-
You just fed the baby, baby is very full and just took a nap. Baby is happy and exploring its gigantic world. Suddenly, baby becomes very quiet. Has baby discovered something? Or is baby choking to death? Or maybe something absolutely horrific is happening. So you check on baby.

Aw, there is baby, sitting behind the couch chewing on one of the many things lying around. You couldn't clean your house because you were dead tired. So, what is baby discovering today? It's sounds kind of crunchy.

"What have you got there?" you ask baby, but then you realize the thing in baby's mouth is kind of big. Baby will choke! So you ram your fingers into baby's mouth and you pull out a great, big roach! Scream like you never screamed before! With all the yellow guts slimed on your fingers, the spindly legs still wiggling, the long antennae twitching in their death throes. Bits of tiny roach eggs slide from the busted guts. Your whole life flashes before your eyes! You rush baby to the sink and wash out its mouth--would that you could put soap in it, but you can't! YOU CAN'T! AAAAAGGGHH!!!!

So, whatever possessed baby to do such a heinous thing? Well, baby has only one really developed sense in its whole body: taste. So when it sees something it doesn't know, baby sticks it in its mouth to explore the unknown thing. Baby's are cunning. They catch things no one else can catch: mice, roaches, spiders, flies--and they check it out.

Baby doesn't need to discover a lot of things yet, so always be alert and keep everything as clean and out of reach of baby as possible.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why I left Twitter. Now I'm free!

-
Image
Twitter. Yuck. Bleah. The place has become a toxic mire. In 2012, I joined Twitter, because I was told it was a good place to promote myself. I gained over 10,000 followers and was heading for 11,000. The rules when I signed up said, "Always be kind and courteous." So I was. In the last few years, there have been droves of people being absolute trolls, jerks, and taking offense at every tiny thing, to the point that everyone had to mince their words. Twitter didn't kick these scumbags off. I began to realize that after every session on Twitter, I came off upset and frustrated. There is a writing community there who lauds itself as extremely supportive. It's filled with self-proclaimed authors who laugh at procrastinating their writing. They have memes stating, "If you're a writer, you're on Twitter right now and thinking you should be writing." Another one was, "If you SAY you're a writer, then you're a writer."...
Read more

One Star Reviews Usually Reflect The Reader

-
Image
One star reviews suck, but they reflect the reader more than anything else. One I got from a woman who said she would post her review on Amazon if she gave it a three or higher. She also promised to buy the book, too, after she picked out the books she wanted to read. She picked mine, but a few months later, she asked if I could send it to her for free. I should have listened to the red flag that went up, but I didn't. The woman was already untrustworthy. I sent her a PDF file. She went onto her YouTube and complained about my book in the most condescending way. After I got over the stings enough to think clearly, I began to realize she complained about things that weren't true. She said there weren't enough explanations for this or that. Guess what, those things had ample explanations. I realized she didn't even read the book, but skimmed over it. Some of what she said were outright lies. Luckily her YouTube views could be counted on one hand. The other review was most...
Read more

Me and My Dogs

-
Image
"Embers" is due out this year, not sure when, but start checking back for updates around July! It would be great if it could appear on July 4th, because that was when I was supposed to be born. Instead, I was born on July 1st, because the night before, my mom hit a dog on the road. She freaked out so bad that she went into labor. So, people, a dog gave its life so I could be born on July 1st. Maybe that's why dogs gyrate towards me. I went to visit my friend, who owns one of those annoying rat dogs. It raced into the room, jumped on my knee, and started barking at everybody, even at its owner. I used to visit another lady, who's now dead, and her dog always hopped in my lap and went to sleep. It snapped at everybody else. Someone had a whole theater inside his basement, so me and a bunch of other people went there to see "The Watcher In The Woods." I'd never seen it before. The guy owned a big, beautiful Golden Retriever. Everybody ra...
Read more