Child Care #3: Potty Training (headstart and/or preschool)

Preschool or Headstart begins. All the children are going to school for the first time. It's traumatic. The little kids barely reach the teacher's knee and they are going into an unknown environment without anyone to lean on. They must do things on their own, they must not cry when mommy and daddy leave them.

So you go in for the very first time, struggling to hold back the tears. Is the teacher a witch? Who is going to bite? What's going to happen? Little do you know what horrors will befall you! And then the ugly kid in the corner starts to bawl, kick, scream and then roll on the ground in an unseemly fit.

Everybody starts crying. Lunch is gross. Sitting in the stupid desk is unnatural. Everybody seems to understand the lesson but you. When are you going to get out of this? Why is everyone friends with everyone but you?

You don't know how much more of this you can take. But at last, the teacher lines you all up and it's time to take a walk, a bathroom break, an edible snack! Oh goody. Well, it's the bathroom. You have got to go so bad, and you're quite proud that you are potty trained. This is the one thing in the whole stupid school that you know how to do. And because everyone else seems to know everything, you assume they all can use the toilet.

But then you walk in and a horrible sight meets your baby eyes. That nasty kid in the corner strips down to his or her birthday clothes to go to the bathroom! The other one had to take a major dump and tosses the browned toilet paper on the floor! That other kid can't tell the difference between the toilet and the wall! And that gross little kid that was rolling on the floor thinks wiping their butt with their hand and then smearing it on the wall is okay. WHY?!!!!!! What kind of potty training is this?

The teacher looks at you, who is already traumatized, and demands to know why you won't go to the bathroom. Seriously?!

People, don't send your kid to school unless they can decently use the toilet. Why reach out your lazy arm to make a little child cry by seeing your kid being absolutely gauche? If you have to, show your kid an example of how to wipe. Stress washing hands, stress using the toilet paper and stress putting everything in the toilet! Memories of toilet horrors can last a lifetime.

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