How to be street smart when you're street dumb # 2: Parties
Parties, most everyone loves parties, unless of course you're a spider, or not a social butterfly. People are always drunk at these wonderful get-togethers. The most dignified man can walk into a restaurant and become a slobbering idiot before he even comes out.
Take Prom Night for example. Everybody's at the punch table, crowding around for drinks--hopefully because they're thirsty from dancing--but there's a rat born every minute. They spike the punch bowl, they lick all the cookies, dig their noses and then touch everything. Pretty soon nobody feels good and they start getting tipsy. Don't go near the punch bowl people! Especially if you don't want to wake up pregnant with all the fathers of your child around you. Or worse even, your body not only violated but covered in graffiti and it's several days later. You too may claim you were kidnapped by aliens so no one knows your shame. Drink from the water fountain and don't put your mouth over it like some stupid kid. You could seriously get mono.
House parties. Rule number one, don't leave your drink unattended. Not only can someone drug your drink, they could spit in it, snot in it, lick it up with a mouth that's been who knows where. Someone could sneak a tack in it, slip a bug in it. Ever drink a fly? You could get parasites! Everybody can have a parasite party. So even if your drink is almost full, if you leave it, just get a new drink and let no one open it for you.
Also, don't let someone get your drink for you, especially if it isn't sealed shut like a can of soda pop. There's a sicko in every corner waiting to go for a ride. I mean, suppose you're at the same party with a relative and you both get drunk? Who in the world are you kissing when you're drunk? You don't know! Your child could come out blue from incest! Or hairy. Or mad. That guy or that girl looks like big foot, seriously, do you want that? I think not. Don't be a statistic.
The same rules go for food.
And so, next time you're out on the town, in a house or at a dance, be sure not to be a victim of some jerk who just wants to get his or her jollies out of messing you up, or of a jealous dirt bag who wants to ruin you, or a sicko craving your body.
Take Prom Night for example. Everybody's at the punch table, crowding around for drinks--hopefully because they're thirsty from dancing--but there's a rat born every minute. They spike the punch bowl, they lick all the cookies, dig their noses and then touch everything. Pretty soon nobody feels good and they start getting tipsy. Don't go near the punch bowl people! Especially if you don't want to wake up pregnant with all the fathers of your child around you. Or worse even, your body not only violated but covered in graffiti and it's several days later. You too may claim you were kidnapped by aliens so no one knows your shame. Drink from the water fountain and don't put your mouth over it like some stupid kid. You could seriously get mono.
House parties. Rule number one, don't leave your drink unattended. Not only can someone drug your drink, they could spit in it, snot in it, lick it up with a mouth that's been who knows where. Someone could sneak a tack in it, slip a bug in it. Ever drink a fly? You could get parasites! Everybody can have a parasite party. So even if your drink is almost full, if you leave it, just get a new drink and let no one open it for you.
Also, don't let someone get your drink for you, especially if it isn't sealed shut like a can of soda pop. There's a sicko in every corner waiting to go for a ride. I mean, suppose you're at the same party with a relative and you both get drunk? Who in the world are you kissing when you're drunk? You don't know! Your child could come out blue from incest! Or hairy. Or mad. That guy or that girl looks like big foot, seriously, do you want that? I think not. Don't be a statistic.
The same rules go for food.
And so, next time you're out on the town, in a house or at a dance, be sure not to be a victim of some jerk who just wants to get his or her jollies out of messing you up, or of a jealous dirt bag who wants to ruin you, or a sicko craving your body.
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