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Showing posts from September, 2015

Child Care #3: Potty Training (headstart and/or preschool)

Preschool or Headstart begins. All the children are going to school for the first time. It's traumatic. The little kids barely reach the teacher's knee and they are going into an unknown environment without anyone to lean on. They must do things on their own, they must not cry when mommy and daddy leave them. So you go in for the very first time, struggling to hold back the tears. Is the teacher a witch? Who is going to bite? What's going to happen? Little do you know what horrors will befall you! And then the ugly kid in the corner starts to bawl, kick, scream and then roll on the ground in an unseemly fit. Everybody starts crying. Lunch is gross. Sitting in the stupid desk is unnatural. Everybody seems to understand the lesson but you. When are you going to get out of this? Why is everyone friends with everyone but you? You don't know how much more of this you can take. But at last, the teacher lines you all up and it's time to take a walk, a bathroom break,...

Child Care #2: Why babies stick things in their mouths.

You just fed the baby, baby is very full and just took a nap. Baby is happy and exploring its gigantic world. Suddenly, baby becomes very quiet. Has baby discovered something? Or is baby choking to death? Or maybe something absolutely horrific is happening. So you check on baby. Aw, there is baby, sitting behind the couch chewing on one of the many things lying around. You couldn't clean your house because you were dead tired. So, what is baby discovering today? It's sounds kind of crunchy. "What have you got there?" you ask baby, but then you realize the thing in baby's mouth is kind of big. Baby will choke! So you ram your fingers into baby's mouth and you pull out a great, big roach! Scream like you never screamed before! With all the yellow guts slimed on your fingers, the spindly legs still wiggling, the long antennae twitching in their death throes. Bits of tiny roach eggs slide from the busted guts. Your whole life flashes before your eyes! You rush...

Child Care #1: Keeping Your Rez Baby Clean

You're walking down the street, feeling good, and then you come across a creature with matted hair, stained clothes, booger infested face and smelling of some serious crap. There's some sort of red residue all over its hands and face that smells suspiciously of pure sugar. Pieces of crud from the ground its playing on is stuck to its body and its still licking its fingers with a mouth that hasn't seen water all day. What is this?! What sewer hole did this tiny monster crawl out of? Then you realize that it's a baby! And then you realize that it's YOUR baby. You've created a miniature Frankenstein. Don't you know that gross babies grow up into gross adults? It's called a rag, people! Wipe up that kid, change its diaper for crying out loud! Didn't you know dirty diapers create rash? And rashes create sores. And then the crap gets into the sores and somebody's butt is getting cut off. And now that you know you're supposed to take care of the...

How to deal with racism #6: Reverse Racism

After all is said and done, the world suddenly has no more racism, and then you wake up and realize that it's in reversal. That's why racists think there isn't racism. Fighting something so that you can become it is like the most pointless, supercilious thing you could ever do. Don't become what you hate or you're a grade A idiot! Sure you wish you could string the jerks out and make them all suffer as you did, but is that accomplishing anything? Okay, it makes you feel better for awhile but reverse racism is the harbinger of a vicious circle. You make them miserable, they then become the victims and it's as asinine as you being sued by a robber because he or she got hurt in your house. Where's the justice? It died somewhere back along the trail where you became a persecuting racist yourself. Your racism stems from hate instead of skewed thinking and where does that get anyone? You'll start hating everything then, your view of the world is skewed and y...