How to make your own lightning

Most everybody knows how lightning is made--okay, maybe not everybody. But there is one thing everybody can do: make their own lightning. It might not come with the thunder, though, and it could very well burn the whole house down. The sirens coming to rescue you can be the thunder. And when people ask what was the cause of the fire, you can sheepishly say you made your own lightning.

First you have to be like me and completely forget that metal plates do NOT go into microwaves. Say when you were young, you used metal plates often in your microwave and nothing ever happened. So when your mother said never to use metal, you had no idea why. You used metal in the microwave all the time when you were home alone. It heated the food perfectly and you just had to use your fingertips to get the metal plate out.

And then one day you got a modern appliance that broke within a year.

Stick the metal plate inside with a food victim of your choice. Turn on the microwave and BAM! You got mini bolts of lightning flying through the little oven and making tiny crackles that make your hair stand on end! And if you're lucky, your food will come to life and you can scream, "It's alive!!!!"

And if you're unlucky, you'll just scream.