The Walmart shopping trip on Veteran's Day

Of all days to run out of food in the house, it had to be on Veteran's Day. I think everybody else ran out of food, too, because everybody was at all the stores. I had to go to two stores because one was having a major sale and the other was Walmart, the bane of my existence.

There were whining children everywhere. It wasn't that whine that says "I'm hungry, my diaper needs changing, my sister hit me, my brother took my toy, I got hurt." It was that squealing howl that demands to be first, to have that toy, to run wild in the store until someone runs them over, and just overall BRAT.

I was trying to find the right personal watermelon by knocking on the surface to hear a hollow sound. But every time I knocked on the rind, that same kid would squeal. I waited for it to stop and then knocked on the rind again. Squealing as you never heard it! I waited again. I knocked on the rind and the melon howled again. So I knocked on it for ten seconds straight, hoping for a break in the infernal howling so I could hear the melon's sound. Total whining for ten seconds straight.

That was a kid who needed to stay home for my benefit.

I finally got the melon I wanted and then went looking for the rest of the sales. Gone. The woman with the howling spawn probably took all the Clementines.

The place was way too crowded while I walked along. These two idiots who sounded like either late teens or early twenties started walking behind me. In these nasally "I'm a total dweeb who thinks I'm tough" voices, they talked about people being in their way. As if everyone should get out of their way because there was supposed to be room and they were privileged to have the whole aisle.

I told myself, "Just keep walking. Don't turn around and start biting people. That won't be good."

I finally got out of that place only to find out the cashier ripped me off on several items.

I got to Walmart then and the shelves were quickly emptying. Some were as empty as when COVID-19 hit for the first time. Boxes were all up in the aisles because Walmart just got a shipment. There were millions of people in each aisle. Social distancing was beyond impossible.

I got lost from my party so I decided to stand in the aisle between the food section and the clothes section. Sooner or later, my party would come back and find me. But no. I stood there a good twenty minutes. My mask was hot and no matter how I adjusted it, my glasses fogged up. Since Walmart took away all its benches, there was nowhere to sit and wait.

People went by looking at me funny. It could have been my foggy glasses. I grew impatient. People were yelling on their phones. All the kids were whining. Their parents looked ready to kill. I was abandoned in the Walmart and I couldn't see! I was about to rip off my mask and glasses, throw them at somebody and start screaming.

And then I saw in my head the newspaper headlines:

Woman goes mad in the Walmart and starts shrieking at the top of her lungs.

"On Veteran's Day, Julia Benally, author of the epic fantasy Nri Kryne went mad in the Walmart and started biting people. She threw her mask and glasses across the store and allegedly started slapping people and breaking their phones. The police carted her away in a straitjacket."

So I calmed down.

I started examining my surroundings. Across from me was a large case of Budweiser. The box was decorated in small Christmas Trees, strings of lights and garland. It was the oddest case I'd ever seen. This guy walked by it and suddenly stopped. He turned like he'd seen a gorgeous woman. He smiled at the box and began caressing it. He was ready to start making out with it in a few seconds, but he had to go.

I went and found my party after that.