The Duck Man

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My education in Spanish has been shoddy. I spent nine years in a Mexican barrio, but nobody spoke the language to me. They insisted on English. At school, they were trying to make everyone bilingual so they could get rid of the language barrier.

Spanish speakers were spoken to in English and they eventually caught onto the language in a few months because they were kids. Isn't that wonderful? English speakers were not to be left out. We were supposed to learn Spanish. Exciting, right?

We English speakers were subjected to a video of a strange man telling us how to say "duck" in Spanish for the whole year...the WHOLE year! El pato, like the hot sauce. Dog, cat, cow, red, blue, white, what's your name? I could count to twenty. But we weren't taught to have a conversation of any substance.

The teachers set up a whole Mexican market at the end of my sixth year learning "duck" and we were supposed to go in and order food, sit in little cafes, and there was a jail for people caught speaking English. It was very fun, except I could only say "duck."

Some of the Hispanic teachers tried to say the Spanish speaking kids were smarter than the English speakers, because they had learned English so quickly. Well the punks weren't subjected to the weird duck man for six years straight. Guaranteed we'd all have been walking around quacking if he was supposed to teach English, too.

I went off to college and decided to try and learn the language. I was used to the Spanish I'd heard in school and in my neighborhood. As soon as my teachers opened their mouths, I was so confused. What language were they speaking? Ah, Argentinian Spanish, Puerto Rican Spanish, Spain Spanish, every Spanish except the one I was used to! I found out I understood better the Spanish from Northern Mexico.

I was forced to "learn" different dialects because each teacher only taught the one they spoke. I had like eight of them all together, and each class was supposed to jump off of the last one. The tests the school gave were always in a different dialect from the one my current teacher was teaching. Did I pass those tests? No, I did not!

How does one reach advanced Spanish and still not know crap?

In the end, I could only remember the stupid Duck Man.

PS:

"Monsters and Demons: Renzhies" is coming out in June! Buy your copy of the first book today so you can be caught up and ready for the next epic adventure!

https://www.amazon.com/Nri-Kryne-Monsters-Demons-Book-ebook/dp/B08GZR31B9



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