Bug Eggs!

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On Friday or Saturday, I can't remember which, I burned my tongue. On Sunday, there was a white bump on the tip of my tongue. I was like, oh man, I really burned it. Still, the white bump looked funny. I mean, what if it was an egg? I'd end up like that woman who'd licked an envelope and got a roach egg in her mouth.

What if the egg hatched? If it did, I wouldn't be long for this world--kind of like when the eye doctor told me two months ago I was going to die in a week because she didn't like the blood pressure reading her assistant took off of my elbow.

I'd surely die of a major gross out if the white bump on my tongue hatched.

Next day, I woke up and the white bump was gone. I was like, oh no, it hatched! My tongue was hurting and I looked real close at it. There was a clean, vertical slice where the 'egg' had been. Unless my tongue reached back to my broken molar in the middle of the night while I was dead asleep and sliced out the 'egg,' I don't know what happened.

There was only one thing left to do. Go get a wine glass, fill it with guava juice, and pretend I was rich.

This is my life.

Comments

  1. Priscilla BettisSeptember 24, 2020 at 2:28 AM

    Oh geez, you gave me the shivers. I'm going to think positive and assume your body is just going through a normal tongue healing process! I hope your guava juice was delicious.:-)

    ReplyDelete

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